Sleep.

last night was the first night i fell asleep and liked it.
waking up without a hangover
without having to run to class
and actually feeling rested
its hard to believe that's the first time it's happened
but what triggered it?
i think robin was right
it was the last connection i had with her
last night found it to be severed
i feel...lighter than i used to
like a weight and a burden of doing the right thing has been lifted
i dont have an obligation to pretend everything's okay
that i'm okay with her.
every night when i would fall asleep
i felt almost panicked
i would cough uncontrollably
hindering me from sleep for half an hour
i would wake up sweating and screaming
trapped within the grasps of my dreams
sleep was my way of losing control
and i couldn't let myself lose control
not like this
so i would stay up
four, five, six in the morning would pass by without a care
before i realized that i would need to get up at 830
an endless road of tiredness
the only thing i carried with me
catching naps when i could
but last night was different
i feel better about myself
i know what i want and i can see it in front of me
and this time with no distractions in my way
the wonders facebook and some sleep can do
i'm just grateful i feel like myself again.