Frozen

11.12.2007
 
i dont understand.
what happened to us?
what happened to the connection we used to have?
i am so frustrated all.the.time.
angry that i cannot talk to you in the way i was once able to
i hate to blame you for anything
but it feels like you've pulled away from me
completely severed the bonds that held us so close together
why?
i told you i wasnt going anywhere
physically yes
but emotionally im still here
and you've ignored the connection
shunning me and letting me wallow in misery by my lonesome
i was so certain that i had matured
that i was able to surpass emotions of this nature
but not where it concerns you
i was adamant about not having a best friend all of my life
before we were close, i was unsure why
but now i realize
that i was protecting myself, my emotions, my heart.
this pain that im now feeling and have felt for the past months has been unbearable
tripling with the latest realization that i have lost you and will possibly never regain our ridiculously close attachment
the idea that i will have to learn to accept our new fate upsets me
upsets me to the point that i cry over what was
what brought us together, what made us the duo everyone was jealous of
and yet you'll remain unaffected
for your heart has now frozen over
any thoughts of me are strictly of what used to be
never to be resurrected for a continuation of what we could be
upsetting? yes. but more so in the way that i could have prevented this by not opening up at all.
for my next close relationship, i will keep you in mind
and remember the pain
the memories
the coldness
and remain frozen.