Here's To You

so the next few will be oldies that i wrote back in freshman year....just need some place to store them :)
10.19.2007

my love
my passion
my desire
i crave you as i drift to sleep
i dream of the memories once contained in your hidden cloak
we hid from the world
meaning mostly my mother
i want to share you with the world
to take pleasure that i became a part of you
but our association is severed
my hands grasping for your protection
my breath ragged and short with despair
going back to a life of agony?
an agony caused by those who apparently love you the most
why? what's the point?
as poets we see the world in a different light
a light that illuminates not only the most talented
but the most troubled and problematic
i keep writing, my hand refuses to cease movement
my hand cramps but i strive on
i pause knowing full well that the song i have put on repeat
will not remedy my woes, but heighten them
you as a muse, guide me where i must journey next
never leaving my side, always pushing me to surpass a new barrier
my love
my passion
my desire
i love you for who you have created
and the ideals that you so eloquently have stowed for me
your use has been temporarily paused
the reason quite unclear
and not altogether dismissable
i apologize for leaving you astray
wandering the expanse of an empty landscape
only to be a haven when i need you most
how much i miss you
and the way i used to be with you
after tonight
i cannot promise that i will diligently admire you
that i will religiously pour over past ideas with the same fervor
i have changed.
not the broken girl you so often saw attempting to pick up the pieces
but into a woman who makes decisions for herself
a woman who is not embarrassed to dance and sing as she once had been
the environment is my haven
you are my sanctuary
i owe you my entire being
thank you.